Friday, January 9, 2009

Ramblings of an IDIOT!


This is a story that MUST be told----

About 3 days ago I lost one of my diamond earrings---it just fell out somewhere in my journies of the day and I was devasted to say the least---REMEMBER THIS PART!

Last night about 2am I got up for one of my nightly trips to the bathroom---bladder the size of a grape----in the DARK I sat down to do my duty and low and behold my rear got all WET---WHAT??? YEP WET!---huh---I flipped the light switch on and discovered that I had sat in someones tinkle from a previous trip to the said bathroom--- (not naming names but I was pretty sure it was JOE!)---was I soooooo ticked---YES--YES I WAS---I looked at the toilet closely to make sure that that was what it was and that the ceiling was caving in and leaking--nope--no such luck for Joe---it was tinkle----AND in the bottom of the toilet I noticed something very peculiar---MY EARRING--just laying there in the bottom of the TOILET ---I could see it through the ---tinkle---'OH this is GREAT!!! JUST GREAT'---I turned my mad but sweet self around and smartly MARCHED into the bedroom where I FLICKED on the light----remember it is 2am-----welll---I probably don't need to tell you the response I got regarding that---and I said---YOU---YOU need to come in here (the bathroom) for a sec---he hops outta bed thinking I saw a rabid dog or something---FIRST I showed him my wet backside---which he thought was funny--me---not so much---then I told him to reach his hand down through that MESS and grab my earring before I FLUSH the toilet---then his smile turned to an OH CRAP look---he did it and I soaked my earring in bleach-----

Now I need to tell you that this is PAYBACK for the time about a month ago that I was working in the garage and I have a coffee can that I put mineral spirits in to clean myself of the stain that I get all over my hands and arms---I wipe it on with a cloth that I have nearby and then wipe the stain off---welllll some jack-dot dot dot dumped that out and used MY MINERAL SPIRITS CAN as a tinkle can because he was too lazy to walk into the house OR better yet tinkle outside---I wiped tinkle on me---OMG-----I was MORTIFIED----and honestly, I got it all over myself---thank GOD I didn't wipe my face, because there are times that I have had to------paybacks---what poetic justice! And you guys wonder why I am the way that I am ---uh ha!

6 comments:

Pam said...

OMG That is so funny. I'm sorry but i have to laugh...Payback LOL. I bet you just rubbed that in. Glad you found your earring. Wasn't it worth loosing it!!!! I would of loved to see his face..

Have a good one

Hugs Pam

Sue said...

You are just to funny...I knew I should of gone to the potty before i read you post....Laughed so hard I peeed my pants (so whats new)!!!Is that really your toilet?...Well at least you got that earring back and the Barracuda should be ashamed for pissing in your can...He deserves more pay back for that..
Hugs
Susie

Doreen said...

Okay..what's with Joe that he seems to be having issues on where the pee is suppose to beeeee!!!!

I think more payback is definitely in order!!!

Hugs,
d

(shitbuckets!!!!!!!!!..three times I've tried to do that blasted word verification below and it keeps saying i did it WRONG!!! I'm trying one more time..and that's it..if you don't get this post...you'll know why!!!!!! ;)

tattered 'n torn prims said...

First of all......aaahhhhh!!!Doreen said a bad word!!!! tee hee hee!!! And anyways.....it's pissbuckets!!! tee hee hee hee!!!

Secondly......ROFLMAO!!! I was gone at your bum getting wet....the rest just put me over the edge!!!! What I mean is......Oh I'm so sorry......nope can't do it!!! That's just flippin' hysterical!!! Nice payback darlin'!!! hardy har har har!!!

Countryfolk Keepsakes said...

Aww man, that one is priceless! Seems like your hubs gets it everywhere but in the bowl!
I think Santa needs to bring him a portable urinal for Christmas. :> )Congrats on findin' your earrin'!!
~Peanut

Cookie said...

well... you found your missing diamond, but ugh ----- no one deserves that at 12 noon, let alone 2am!!!